Faerydays / Sondays: Reclaiming Prince Charming + Prayer

Image by Prawny from Pixabay.

Hi everyone. How are you today? Ready for the coming week? I hope so. ^^ Last night was a bit rough on me. There were so many things in my head that got me thinking, and today, as I wondered, I realized they are related to a common trope: Prince d*mned Charming. First of all, who is this dude? Christensen (2020) says it crystal clear:

The title has often been applied to male characters or to real men who seem to possess all the qualities that would make women fall in love with them. In The Portrait of Dorian Gray written by Oscar Wilde in 1890, a poor but gifted actress refers to Dorian as Prince Charming. However, Wilde turns the concept on its ear when Dorian decides to abandon Sybil, showing himself to be no true Prince, and merely charming on the surface.

Things have changed, however. Christensen (2020) is also clear when she says that:

More often than not, modern treatment of Prince Charming is either tongue in cheek or unfavorable. While many still like a good fairytale, most modern day audiences are well aware of the realities of relationships and choose to make their own "happily ever afters."

We have grown to know about this guy, that we are someone else's (99% of the time, a woman's) Prince Charming, so we better be prepared and be the best version of ourselves. We have to live up to this guy. However, the reality of this is that we know nothing about who this Prince Charming is or how he looks. Heckel (2018) explains it perfectly:

What color is his hair? His eyes? How tall is he? Is he clean shaven? It is difficult, if not impossible to find any of these details. He is, in many respects, the perfect object of desire, being a blank canvas onto which our deepest desires may be drawn. Perhaps that is why Meriam-Webster defines “Prince Charming” as “a suitor who fulfills the dreams of his beloved.”

What we do know, however, his characteristics:

Has to be strong.
Has to be handsome.
Has to be confident.
Has to be brave.
Has to be funy.
He has to be of blue/royal blood.
Has to be a hero.

Perhaps the most important aspect of Prince Charming is the last one. He is supposed to save the day, save princess and marry her to live happily ever after in a new, distan, perfect castle. End of the story. This s directly linked to the previous one. He must be a royal heir. The first recorded reference we have of him is in Perault's Sleeping Beauty, so let's stick with it.

According to this version, the prince is not that much of a hero, but more like a secretive man who hides his marriage and children from his own mother. This queen comes from a family of ogres, and since it is said in court she could devour any child becuase of her instincts, the Prince waits until his father dies, he becoming the new King, to reveal he is married and has two children. We should add cleverness and discretion to the list.

Later in the tale, the ~~Prince~~ King has to go to war, and his mother is left in charge of his wive and kids, but she cannot control her hunger, and after many tries and lies, she is finally about to cook them and eat them. The King arrives in that same moment, and being discovered as the foul creature she really is, the Queen commits suicide. We are told, however, that "The king could not but be sorry, for after all she was his mother; but it was not long before he found ample consolation in his beautiful wife and children." (Perrault, 1921).

This would make him also a man devoted to his family and capable of forgiveness even in the most hard situations. Another two for the list, which ends as:

Has to be strong.
Has to be handsome.
Has to be confident.
Has to be brave.
Has to be funy.
He has to be of blue/royal blood.
Has to be a hero.
He has to be clever.
He has to be discrete.
He has to be devouted to his family.
He has to be forgiving.

Kinda impossible to live up to all of this, right? However, Didn't Sir Edward Coke said that "Every man’s home is his castle"? (Online Library of Liberty, 2020). It seems like "for our brave hero redemption may be at hand as other reinterpretations arrive that focus on the prince as a significant protagonist, and not as a prop to be used where convenient". (Heckel, 2018).

I've come to look at Prince Charming as a maleable idea, even more coming from folklore. One has to only look at the newest books, comics, movies and TV series, even music videos, that take inspiration from folklore to retell these stories. Not in vain, "writing and telling folktales is another way to remember our histories, and keep family stories and traditions alive in each generation." (Jaffe, 2020).

For me, it is time to be our own Prince Charming (whether you're queer or not). Need a savior? A hero? A lover? Be that for yourself first and foremost. This doesn't mean you gotta be perfect, but as perfect as you can be for yourself, accepting your shadows and flaws and wounds and weaknesses.

People want you to be a Prince? It's a deal. They have wanted me to be one for a d*mn long while. But I'll be my own kind of Prince Charming. I'm devoted to myself, to my goals, my dreams, and while I love my family AF, I'm not going to let anyone stop change who I am. I don't need to scream whatever it is I'm doing, because whatever I do, I do it quietly. And in the spirit of this idea, here's the Modern Prince Charming Prayer (or Incantation, if you prefer):

Bright light I have been raised in,
Become the cloak to hide my self.
Loving hearts and eyes around me,
Be the guard of all my steps.
I turn their love into my blessing,
To free my dream from their dressings.

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