Hello pornies. ^^ How are you feeling today? I couldn't help but think about something very often lately strongly related to my journalism degree. People often say "I'm responsible of what I say, not what you understand." Hehe, honey, communication doesn't work that way. I've seen this kind of phrases when some people say they are not responsible of educating others about this or that, even about the LGBT+ community. Honey, nope, not all, we have to, but doesn't mean we must do it all the time.
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| Photo by Sharon McCutcheon from Pexels. |
It's easy just to assume it's not our job because we are not activist in the strict sense of the word, not all of us can do that kind of work constantly, but we support the cause in other ways. However, educating ourselves about it and being open to talk about it with others is something we can all do. I don't read about it every day, but I do it often to stay informed, to stay updated, to know what's happening around the world.
Not long ago I was talking with a man and there came this lady all happy and excited saying she got married the night before. It was all great, I felt happy for her as well, and then she said she married a woman. I didn't blink an eye when the man told me, just said "good for you", before she left. He started complaining about how disgusting and unnatural it was for women to marry each other that I had to speak.
He has no idea I'm bi or who I am in reality, but I started saying that there are studies that prove it is natural, that he could check here and there, and that even animals do it some times. I sent him a link and told him which part specifically to read, the one I was interested the most that he read, and said he would do it. I did my part, I shared what I could, but when I asked him about it the day after he told "even if you show me I don't believe it". That's when there's nothing else to do.
I think we're often so focused on fighting for what we do that we forget there are dormant allies around us, people who don't support us because they don't understand what we're doing. That's a communication problem, because if the message is not clear enough and no one explains it then we're losing time, energy, and resources. We're doing nothing, basically, or at least not achieving the impact we are aiming for.
A few years ago I spent a whole hour commenting on Facebook because a guy didn't understand why people go to Pride Parades in underwear as "exhibitionists". I had to go slow and detail until he got the point: those people want to be seen because they were denied, want to show because they were erased, want to prove they are harmless by wearing close to nothing, and use the whole fucking rainbow and dance with it because sometimes it hurts to much to be queer. Sometimes you get beheaded for being gay, even in 2021.
I have a lesbian friend who didn't know a thing about the Stonewall Riots, and when we met she was confused because she identified as bisexual but didn't feel sexual attraction to men, she's even disgusted when she sees a dick (ironically, she LOVES hardcore yaoi manga). We spent so many times talking everyday she got to know herself better and started to discover her own history as a queer woman.
We need to learn, to know, to discover, understand where we come from, and try to help others do the same within our possibilities. We don't need to be guides and masters and gurus, experts in the topic, but knowledge is power. My cousins ask me a lot of questions because they know I read a lot, some of them related to LGBT+ topics, and I've managed to make them understand what's happening, what's real and what's not, but only when they want to. If there is someone who simply doesn't want to listen, there's nothing to do but move on to the next in line.
There's still much to do, we're getting better, but better doesn't necessarily mean bitter. Truth doesn't need to be bitter. Truth doesn't need to hurt, shock, traumatize, crash, or anything remotely similar. Truth can be friendly, understanding, and patient. It's up to each of us to do the homework.
What do you think? Do you agree? Let me know in the comments. ^^ Kinky regards, K!
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