Tuesday, August 15, 2023

Bisexual, Polysexual, Pansexual...?

I've read about the Bi Umbrella for a long time, and I was okay with it, even if I didn't fully understand it. However, thinking about all those identities made me feel uncomfortable because I didn't have the difference as clear as I would have liked. It also made me wonder if I was bisexual or if I was something else entirely. Enter a quick existential crisis.
I felt like that little fella in there. I was definitely under the umbrella, but was I in the right position? His face is priceless. Photo by Ivan Babydov.
However, I do want to make it clear that I haven't had contact with people of all of these orientations, so this is just the perceptions I've gotten, so any constructive feedback is always welcome (and encouraged if the language I'm using is not the best/problematic). Basically, they are my first impressions and a writing exercise to understand my identity in a better way.

When I did a quick search, I saw this:
  • Bisexual people are attracted to any number of genders that's more than two, historically associated to attraction to men and women.
  • Polysexual people are attracted to more than one gender, usually including non-binary identities.
  • Omnisexual people are attracted to all genders.
  • Pansexual people are attracted to all genders, usually regardless of their gender or without preference.

With all of those definitions, I found it confusing at first. Labeling myself as bisexual has become a big part of my identity and who I am, so the possibility of changing it because I might be mistaken... it was uncomfortable, not to mention scary.

However, I gave it some thought, and I wanted to share this because I think it might be useful for those trying to understand the differences whether to understand us or understand where they are in this umbrella.

Being bisexual for me means that I have a preference, romantic and/or sexual, towards men and women. It doesn't deny that I might feel attracted to non-binary people, just that there's a tendency, a preference, if you will.

Polysexual would be, then a bisexual who also feels the same way regarding binary and non-binary genders. They might have a preference regarding which one is more attractive, but those three would be the ones that get the most attention.

Omnisexual would be someone who feels attracted to anyone of any gender. No matter the preferences, they might feel attraction to anyone of any gender. Pansexual, however, would be the attraction regardless of gender; as in, there might be a preference, but gender doesn't play such an important role in their attraction.

Considering this, I decided that I'm still bisexual because, even if I can feel attraction to non-binary identities, even if I can pay not too much attention to gender, I still feel a strong attraction to men and women, regardless of if they are cisgender or transgender. I used to say that I was bisexual with some pansexual inclination, but doing this gave me the clarification I needed.

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