You noticed for sure I've been very inactive these days. It's not that I forgot about this place. It's that my life took an extreme change. While uncomfortable, it's for the better. It's something I've been waiting for almost 11 years.
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| FlitsArt, from Pixabay. |
Last week was intense. Was devastating, was maddening, I was the closest I've been to lose it and give up on many things. I spoke with several friends, cried, was this close to touch rock bottom, until I heard the words I've been waiting for.
Last Wednesday was full of mixed emotions. It was too much at the same time with no chance to process anything, hardly able to function. The next days I focused on healing, on listening to some music, meet with some friends, get out of house, and keep my head focused on the present.
I won't lie. I'm scared, I feel down now and then. I cry when nobody's looking. Sleeping is still difficult. I don't know how I would have reacted a few months ago, but talking with my therapist has made me realize my stress tolerance has increased since I started therapy. Waking up and going through my day is a challenge, but it's getting easier. I'm getting better.
With that being said, I will be taking a rest until April 1st. I haven't read anything in this time, and I probably won't do it that much either until then. I'm letting go many things, facing my traumas, doing the things that help me feel better, and healing the way I've always wanted.
Read you soon, kuties, K.
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