Hello, cuties. I finished reading a book recently that drove me crazy, made me gasp, rage, and smile. It's one of those readings that shows you the worst and the best of humankind in a single tome, a single story that you're so desperate to believe they are fiction. But no. Everything was painfully real in Memoir of a Mangled Mind: How Concealing My Dissociative Identity Disorder Unleashed Multiple Personalities, by Steven Simmons Shelton, MA, JD. Thanks to the author for the copy to review!
- Print Length: 388 pages.
- Publisher: SelfPublished.
- Publication Date: November 19, 2024.
- Genres: Memoir, NonFiction, Mental Health, Sexuality, Abuse.
- Rating: 4/5 stars.
When sexual predators target Steve Simmons as a child, his mind fractures into multiple personalities—alters—who give him blackouts as a protective shield.The abuse ends when he’s fourteen, but two alters begin hijacking his consciousness to live their own lives as a thief and a gay prostitute.Steve discovers he has multiple personalities but keeps the mental disorder a secret for fear of being institutionalized. That decision grants his doppelgangers free rein to drag him down the paths of crime and debauchery.To maintain his freedom and reputation, Steve discards his ethical compass in order to conceal his alters’ criminal activities—even after becoming an attorney at one of the world’s premier litigation firms.This deeply personal memoir lays bare Steve’s childhood sexual assaults and the poor judgment he exercises to hide his mental disorder caused by the trauma.How will he navigate the road to redemption?
This is not for the faint of heart. There are so many graphic, horrible things this man went through that you have to be prepared. There are repeated rapes, pedophilia, ephebophilia, gaslighting, abuse, manipulation, suicidal thoughts, suicide ideation, attempts, and more (highlight the text if you want to know exactly what I'm talking about; I usually don't read content warnings to avoid spoilers, however.)
Steven has an impeccable style that he uses to tell a tale we don't want to believe is real because of what it would mean if it is. Humans are far from perfect, but some members of our kind make you wonder if they know the definition of being human. Steven doesn't hold back. If you think he was raw in the note at the beginning, you will agree with him in little to no time.
The best way that I can put it without it sounding morbid is that this is an amazing read about survival, perseverance, resiliency, and hope. That last one is the most fitting, in my humble opinion, because even if he wanted to give up so many times, Steven still tried to stay afloat despite what his alters did to ruin his life/their lives. It's a curious thing that they tried to "protect" him by putting him in so much danger.
My only complaint is the ending. It was abrupt, too sharp, although still effective. I wasn't expecting something that far from what happened, but something changed in the style, as if the author was in a rush to finish. However, it was still an addictive reading that shows you what it is like to have this kind of mental condition (slight spoiler censored). Awe inspiring. One of my favoirte readings of the year so far, easily.
Kinky regards, K!
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