Helo pornies! I hope you're doing great. Today I want to open a new section in the blog dedicated for all of us Queer Pagans. I want to share what our practice is like, how Witchcraft and Queerness could be related, how it empower us, and so on. I'm so happy to share this first interview with you!
Our Queer Pagan for today is Fox, a pansexuali, polyamorous and primalist Gaelic Polytheist. He has anxiety, depression, OCD, and PTSD, but describes how his path has helped him. Thank you so much for participating in this, Fox! Follow him on Twitter as @DonnSionnach.
1. Which came first: Witchcraft or Queer Identity?
I wish this were as simple to answer as it was to ask.
I was a magickal child, and being Queer is also inherent; but as for self identification purposes, the Witch (Wiccan first, then witch, now neoDruid) and Queer (first bisexual, then gay, and now pansexual) came when I was 15 (prior to that I was magickal without labels, and I was identifying as Christian until I was 12 - which I left due to a lack of faith in that god; but never lost belief in the Divine) and I chose Wicca as a religion because it helped to support, as opposed to diminish, my Queerness. It wasn’t until I sought training in the Gardnerian Tradition at 24 that I stepped away from Wicca due to the intrinsic hetero-normativety of that path.
It’s been a labyrinthine search ever since.
2. How would you describe your path as a Witch?
As I said, labyrinthine. I’ve been all over the map, and I draw influences from all over the globe. It’s who and what I am. I’m a magickal person, living a magickal (albeit still fairly boring) life. Druidry and Witchcraft inform everything I do, and every thought I have.
But, that doesn’t really answer your question.
I would describe my path as a witch as seeking, in a mist, but sure-footed. I sometimes wish I had more training in certain area; even though I tend to be the most informed of my friends and magickal family. I wish I had more practical/working knowledge. So, I am always seeking.
3. Do you feel your sexuality has played a role in it?
The quick answer to this is a resounding: YES!!
From Radical Faeries to the Blue God of Feri; from Christopher Penczak to Arthur Evans; from Wicca to Hellenism to Druidry. Being Queer has informed my Craft and my spirituality. I honestly think I would still be Christian, or some other mainstream religion, if not for my Queerness.
In my forming personal Tradition I work with a divinity I call “The Boy Goddess,” which is inter-sexed, trans, gender fluid, pansexual, and inter-generational - all in one. Ze is the embodiment of what it is to be Queer to me, even the more misunderstood or less desirable aspect (perhaps especially those aspects). Associated with the moon, transitions and liminal times and spaces, - and with this the magickal world itself. This divine entity whispers to me of a world in which acceptance is never possible while maintaining one’s own true identity.
Ze is a tragic, but beautiful character.
I wish I could write more about zim.
4. I like that you identify yourself a lot with the fox, it's one of my favorites animals! Is it an important animal or symbol for you?
Fox is very important to me, and has been for a very long time. It’s difficult for me to explain, really. Alongside being Pansexual and Pagan, I also identify as Primal. My inner-most self is Fox. When I do inner work, many of the archetypes/inner-beings are foxes or have vulpine characteristics (owl being a secondary).
As a symbol Fox is very magickal. Dusk is a time associated with this animal, and the magick of both Dusk and Fox are about beauty, transitions, and survival. That is an interesting and amazing combination; and it speaks of me as well.
5. You explain in you blog that divine inspiration, Imbas, is sacred for you Gaels, and asked "what’s more inspiring to live than knowing that one day we each must die?" How does death inspire you?
My mother died about 6 years ago. It was sudden; a car crash. I spiraled downward after that, and I forgot to trust myself. I didn’t see/feel her death, and as a sensitive person, I felt that I should have. I distrusted my intuition after that. It’s been a long road towards coming back to being able to trust my own feelings about things.
Of course, death is not the end in my world. It is an end, but not The end. My mother’s shade is still with me, having joined our ancestors; and I strive to make her proud, more so now. Ancestry is important to Gaelic culture, but she is the first ancestor I felt care about me as a person and not merely as legacy.
Furthermore, on a personal level, knowing that I must one day Stop inspires me to leave something behind that doesn’t; my own legacy.
6. Would you say Witchcraft helps you dealing with anxiety, depression, OCD, and PTSD? If so, how?
It most certainly does. My spirituality helps ground me, and reassured me that I am safe and contained.
With anxiety, my training helps ground and center me, and gives me the knowledge that I have more influence and control in my world than most.
Depression is tricky. It eats away at the will. Magick requires three key components, at least as I teach it, and will is one of them (knowledge and creativity being the other two). It only takes a spark of will to ignite the fire, though, and the context of my spiritual practice can be just that.
OCD is pernicious. I can get caught in a “magical thinking loop” that places all of the responsibility of the world on my shoulders. Without the understanding that my Gods are here to alleviate that, I would be crushed and paralyzed.
And the PTSD... without knowing how to Banish, this would kill me. Thoughts and memories can be banished just like entities.
7. You say that you don't need lore to support your choices, although it certainly feels good to have. Do you remember how was it when you felt that support for the first time? What did lore support at that moment?
So, I officially chose Wicca because I didn’t feel judged for being Queer, and certain authors and leaders, such as Scott Cunningham were/are queer themselves. That was as a teenager. As I got older and found that certain Traditions can be just as homophobic as Christianity, it was disheartening.
When I started reading into things like the Minoan Brotherhood, Penczak’s writing on queer magic, and then Cassell’s Encyclopedia of Queer Myths I felt affirmed. I joined the Radical Faeries. I read Arthur Evan’s work on radical Witchcraft and Queer expression. It all felt so good.
But. It didn’t give me a long sense of history. I found that when I became a Hellenist. That was only a short three or so years, and the Gods of Olympos are intense.
When I came home to Druidry, and didn’t find direct support in the lore or what we know of the ancient culture of Ireland it was tough. But, now that I have a direct channel to my Gods, and I know their support of my pansexuality, polyamory, and primalism, life is more meaningful, and I have a context in the story; and that context is my legacy.
8. Looking back in time, let's say, five years ago, which is your most significant change?
The one I’m willing to admit to is self acceptance. For so long I expressed myself and forced myself to be “gay,” even though I would, from rare times to time, engaged sexually with other than cis-gender men. I’m pansexual, and proudly so, now.
Another is my Coming Home. Embracing my Gaelic heritage and returning to working with the Túatha Dé Dannán and seeking Druidry as much path. I finally feel at home within myself.
9. What are your plans for the future?
I would like to write. I have a lot of great ideas for both fiction and nonfiction. Finding the time between a 40+ hour job and my chronic depression isn’t easy.
My nonfiction is all about my personal path and the associated philosophy, much of to which I have hinted here. I call it Freemantle Craft, a NeoDruidry. I struggle to organize it into linear ideas.
My fiction is a reflection of my philosophy, and is a contemporary fantasy set in the ritual south and here in New England. It’s dark. I draw from a lot of sources and influences that have touched me.
10. Which would be you're advice for young, future Witches and Pagans?
This is the hardest question for me to answer. I want to say something profound, but I just keep coming back to the old standards.
Never let a path or a teacher take you away from who you really are. Honor your ancestors, because one day you will be one. If you can’t find the right path for you, make it for yourself.
If you're a Queer Pagan and would like to participate in this section, send me a message using the form at the sidebar. Kinky regards, K!
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