Book Review: Boyslut

This year has tried to kill me over and over again. And I've survived with one book at a time. I've been curious about this one for a long time, and I've wanted to prioritize books with bisexual representation for just as long. Boyslut, by Zachary Zane, has one hell of a journey with several topics, different experiences, and a lot of healing. A must-read for bi+ readers!

• 
  Print Length: 240 pages.
• Publisher: Harry N. Abrams (May 9, 2023)
• Expected Publication Date: May 9, 2023.
• Topics: Sexuality, Bisexuality, Mental Health, Polyamory.
• Rating: 4 / 5 stars.

“Zachary Zane is one of the best sex writers working today.” —Dan Savage, New York Times bestselling author

Named a Most Anticipated LGBTQ+ Book of the Year by Buzzfeed

A sex and relationship columnist bares it all in a series of essays—part memoir, part manifesto—that explore the author’s coming-of-age and coming out as a bisexual man and move toward embracing and celebrating sex unencumbered by shame.

As a boy, Zachary Zane sensed that all was not right when images of his therapist naked popped into his head. Without an explanation as to why, a deep sense of shame pervaded these thoughts. Though his therapist assured him a little imagination was nothing to be ashamed of, over the years, society told him otherwise.

Boyslut is a series of personal and tantalizing essays that articulate how our society still shames people for the sex that they have and the sexualities that they inhabit. Through the lens of his bisexuality and much self-described sluttiness, Zane breaks down exactly how this sexual shame negatively impacts the sex and relationships in our lives, and through personal experience, shares how we can unlearn the harmful, entrenched messages that society imparts to us.

From stories of drug-fueled threesomes and risqué Grindr hookups to insights on dealing with rejection and living with his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s wife, Boyslut is reassuring and often painfully funny—but is most potently a testimony that we can all learn to live healthier lives unburdened by stigma.

This book was a big surprise for me. I admit that I was a bit biased and didn't expect it to be so educational. Of course there was going to be a lot of sex, steamy details, kinks, first-time experiences, and so on. I expected all those emotions, the trauma, the identity issues... But didn't think I'd consider this a good resource for others to learn about bisexuality.

Although Zachary doesn't hold back while telling his experiences and ideas, he never, not even once, pushes them into the reader. He's always careful about this, making the observation that the reader doesn't have to think or behave or like the same things as he does, but that he shares in order to help others see what he learned from each experience.

I also admit all the sexual content started to have the opposite effect on me. I wanted to know more about the author's feelings, thoughts, his experiences outside of the bed, and while it is true that one of his points is to combat sexual shame, I personally would have preferred the sex to be a bit secondary in one or two chapters because I lost a bit of interest at some point.

All in all, however, it was a great reading that speaks openly about the struggles surrounding bisexuality, mental health issues, misconceptions, and the process of coming into terms with who you are and who you want to be (with). I can say that it was healing, powerful, and entertaining. I laughed several times at the authors comments, but also found the words for things I couldn't explain. Just wonderful.

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