I was reading an interesting post by Dr. Eric Cervini, author of The Deviant's War, about why we use "queer" nowadays as a synonym of LGBTQ+. After a captivating history lesson, there are some discussion questions we leaves for readers to discuss, and this being the safest space I have, I wanted to share with you my responses. You're also welcome to share your thoughts and experiences!
"I now use it like that and also as a collective term instead of the ever-growing LGBT+ for the sake of simplicity.". Source. |
- What did the word “queer” mean when you were growing up? What does it mean to you now?
I didn't have that word while growing up. The first time I knew about it I was in college and it was being used to describe anyone who wasn't straight or cis but didn't want to label themselves in any of the most popular terms. However, I now use it like that and also as a collective term instead of the ever-growing LGBT+ for the sake of simplicity.
- What terms do you use to self-identify? Have these changed over time? If so, what was the cause of that change?
I first described myself "bisexual, semi-pansexual" because the initial definition of bisexual referred to attraction towards cisgender men and women only, and I found trans people also attractive. However, now that bisexual describes attraction to more than one, I just say I'm bi.
Also, reading about non-binary gender identities, I questioned myself as a man and using he/him pronouns. My idea was that, if men don't have to be cisgender, have a penis, have certain behaviors, then it didn't make sense to identify as a man. I tried to use they/them for a second, but that felt wrong. I didn't feel identified, even though I wouldn't feel bad if anyone used them with me.
- How do you feel when someone incorrectly identifies your gender or sexuality? What steps do you take to correct them?
If they do, I correct them once or twice, but if that doesn't work, then it depends on who's doing it. If I care about that person, then I insist and try to understand what makes it difficult for them. If it's just a matter of invalidating me in any sense, indifference, with no desire to change, I shut up and pay no attention. If they make an effort, I keep on explaining so we can reach a common ground so they understand what I'm talking about.
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