Review: Paganism on Parole

I like that there are different approaches to Paganism and Witchcraft these days. That means different lenses, points of view, and ways to get started with them. This book in particular aims to a public who hasn't had their rightful attention: Paganism on Parole: Connecting to the Magic All Around, by Awyn Dawn. Thanks for the review copy!

• Print Length: 258 pages.
• Publisher: Llewellyn Publications (November 8, 2022)
• Publication Date: November 8, 2022
• Topics: Religion, Mental Health, Witchcraft.
• Rating: 3 / 5 stars.

Return to Society with Support from Your Pagan Spirituality

Building on messages in Paganism for Prisoners, this book empowers you to begin a new practice while on parole or expand the one you started in prison. Awyn Dawn teaches you a variety of ways to enhance your path, including how to leave offerings for the gods, consider different views on magical ethics, and energetically protect yourself without jeopardizing your future goals. She provides uplifting advice for coming out of the broom closet, finding a supportive community, repairing damaged relationships, and working with the magical tools you can have as a parolee. Through meditations, spells, rituals, and more, you can nurture your body, mind, and soul while taking your next step on the road to freedom.

I admit I was reluctant about reading this book when I learned that it was a follow-up to the author's debut. I haven't read it and was afraid I wouldn't be able to fully appreciate this book. However, it works pretty well as a stand alone, and while the experience might be different, it is still useful for those who might consider ministerial and leadership roles.

The book is mostly aimed at people who are just getting out of prison and want to re start their life. However, it is also helpful for those who want to support them, offer guidance, healing, and understand what it can mean to go through this situation. While there's a lot of independence in all of the pages, and it doesn't ask for many materials to work with, it also focuses on community and belonging, two important aspects of anyone's life to get better.

However, I struggled a lot with the book because there were parts that didn't look edited. While the content itself wasn't a problem, it was difficult not to get stressed by those grammar and style issues. Two in particular were the biggest ones: The structure of "Well,..." was present in many parts, sometimes so close that it seemed like a parody, along with several typos and mistakes, more than I think would be okay. 

In general, it is useful, helpful, needed, and I'm sure it's a valuable addition to anyone's library. It could have been better worked and more polished, that's for sure, but the content and the resources provide a lot of guidance even if you don't have any experience (there are a few I'll be checking myself). As a healing guide, it's wonderful! Add a simple, direct style that helps you get started, and you have a nice reading.

Kinky regards, K!

Connect with me on Instagram and Twitter!

Remember this blog lusts after your comments and shares to grow healthy!

On the Brothers Grimm

There's something that I came across with* as I read about the Brothers Grimm. They are famous for their fairytales, that's for sure, but that wasn't their main focus while working together. They were far more interested in studying language, with folk tales being a side project they worked at.

What is interesting in all of this is that their tales, published as "Children's and Household Tales", were edited seven times, mostly by Wilhelm Grimm, changing, adding, and even deleting parts or entire tales.

Elisabeth Baumann. 1855. Source.
 (right: Jacob Grimm; left: Wilhelm Grimm)

Jacob was always more of the opinion that the tales should remain the way they were edited the first time and to have as minimal edits as possible, but Wilhelm thought the beauty of them could be enhanced, and therefore more appreciated, if some details were altered.

While Jacob focused more on other projects, his brother worked again and again on the tales, paying attention to the criticism received for including "Children" in the title, due to some stories containing violent and sexual details that were deemed not suited for kids. Wilhelm altered the tales once, twice, and more, until the most polished version, the seventh, was the final one. That's the version most of us are familiar with and most likely to get when buying the tales.

I find this quite interesting because, as someone who cares a lot about origins, I wanted to compare how different they would be one from another. That's why I got two editions of the tales, one being the most complete translation to date, including tales that were translated to English for the first time, and the original, first edition of the tales, also translated to English for the first time, both books by Jack Zipes, a recognized expert in the Grimm and fairy tales in general.

My babies. I'm just about to start reading them at the same time and comparing how similar or different they are.

Also, it's important for me to know who the Grimms were, how they worked, and I have a good idea after reading each book's introduction. They were very disciplined, organized, and scholars most of the time. Coming from a low-income family, and even more after their father's dead, they decided to prove what they were capable of by dedicating their time and efforts to their studies.

There's this general idea that they traveled around Germany to collect the tales, but they hardly left their home and work. In reality, they received the tales from peasants, travelers, aristocrats, mothers, homeless people, and anyone else who could provide to them. Often, their tales were rewarded with money depending on how original they were or if it was a different version of a tale they already had.

You can see the difference between both edition more clearly here. Also, the book with the original tales seems to have bigger and more illustrations than the complete edition.

For those who are interested in history and biographies, I strongly recommend you reading both introductions, which can be read for free on their respective digital preview before buying. The details about their lives and way of working are fascinating!

As a side note, I can't deny my interest in ancestral veneration and necromancy. If I were to include them in my practice as ancestors, guides, teachers, or any other type of spirit, I know I'm more likely to favor Jacob than Wilhelm, or that at least I identify more with him than his younger brother.

*I originally wrote this for my Patreon, but since I'm focusing on the blog now, I wanted to share an updated version here.

Connect with me on Instagram and Twitter!

Remember this blog lusts after your comments and shares to grow healthy!

Naming a Fire, Naming a Tradition?

The day* I published that first article on "bi fire", a friend called me and reminded me of the importance of names. I was totally fine with that first name because it was clear enough, but he made me realize that whatever little it was saying, it wasn't clear enough. Not to mention it seriously lacked creativity.

For me, bisexual fire is about the common perception we have as "half-straight, half-gay" in the eyes of others, but instead of representing that, bisexual fire took those suppose halves, all the misconceptions, to bring forth the actual meaning of what being under the bi umbrella means, and transform it into a source of power. It's a metaphor of using those problems as fuel for what we actually are, letting something better be born from the ashes.

While sharing this, he told me that actually calling it bisexual meant that I was giving it a sexuality, and playing with the idea of the binary of gender (if I remember correctly), which wasn't really helpful. I didn't want to include the binary in it because being bisexual doesn't mean anymore that you like men and women only. It also includes identities outside of it, and I wanted to represent that as well. I agreed with him then that I had to give it another name.

Looking for different words, a found amethyst as a synonym of purple. "Amethyst Fire sounds lovely", as my friend said, it's evocative, and the meaning of that stone is also beautiful. I learned that it's self-cleansing, cleanses other stones, improves psychic abilities, and that cups were made with it to prevent drunkenness (someone test it and let me know if that's a fact). It is also related to wisdom, mental clarity, clam, relaxing, stress-relief, and the third eye and crown chakra.

When comparing those properties to the Four Powers of Bi Witches, invisibility, shapeshifting, healing, and fighting, I also saw a connection. The first two are related to vision, or visual perception, to be more specific, we're speaking about a a stone used for healing as well, one with soothing effects, but that, while peaceful, can also provide the right state of mind to face a fight.

There's also a curious part of amethyst that I found while working on this article (Hunter, 2019) that sounds very much like shape-shifting, if you ask me:

And if you expose amethyst to heat, you'll see the color fade as well. Sometimes, instead of gray or clear crystal, you'll end up with vivid yellows that look a lot like citrine. The neatest bit of this chameleon exercise, though, is if you can safely expose your amethyst to X-rays, you can return it to its original purple hues. That is a pretty nifty trick!

I will be reading more into it, see what else I can find about this stone, and who knows? Maybe there are other surprises on the way. In the meantime, I'm truly happy with the new name.

*I originally wrote this for my Patreon, but since I'm focusing on the blog now, I wanted to share an updated version here.

Connect with me on Instagram and Twitter!

Remember this blog lusts after your comments and shares to grow healthy!

Manga Review: On or Off Volume 3

Just like the song says, I'm addicted and I just can't get enough! This is series that keeps getting better, even more after the ending of the last volume. On or Off, Volume 3, by A1, was as intense as it was entertaining from beginning to end. Thanks to the publisher for sending me a review copy!

• Print Length: 242 pages.
• Publisher: TokyoPop.
• Publication Date: March 28, 2023.
• Genres: Drama, Gay, Homoerotic, Romantic, Yaoi.
• Rating: 4 / 5 stars.
• Volume 1.
• Volume 2.

Winner of the Ridibooks 2019 BL Awards.

Ahn Yiyoung is hard at work building a startup with his college friends, knowing that a successful product could change all of their lives. But when they get the chance to present their work to major company SJ Corporation, Yiyoung comes face to face with the handsome bigshot executive, Kang Daehyung and his desperation to impress the other man leads to something unexpected...!

Navigating personal relationships and the corporate world is a daunting task, but Yiyoung knows he's up for the challenge! Will he be able to achieve success in both his love life and his career?

This volume was somewhat different than the last two, I have to say. There's a lot of drama, tension, push and pull, and communication is not these guys' forte. It's bittersweet to see two adults handling their situation like this, and although it works and keeps you hooked, it still felt strange as I read. It didn't last that long, though!

Things escalated and changed in no time, turning into an adult plot with young adult elements and style, a mix that works great for me. It's sweet and hot and cute and dramatic, all at the same time! And the art keeps up with it from beginning to end. I'm turning into a fan of the colors and the backgrounds, also the face expressions of the characters, for how clean they all look.

Aside from that strange beginning, I must confess it was also strange the sudden change in Yiyoung's sub plot. It was too drastic to be realistic, and while it added a good comedy relief to the whole experience, comedy doesn't work for me that much. So it was a little bittersweet when the plot focused on that side of the story.

All in all, very balanced, improves greatly, a nice development, and the characters finally being honest with each other. Getting to know Kang's side of the story was a good addition, different and risky, but played in favor of the book at the end, offering a complete vision of what was happening. In short, me wants the next volume, right now!

Connect with me on Instagram and Twitter!

Remember this blog lusts after your comments and shares to grow healthy!

Manga: A Complicated Omega's Second Love

Hello hello. I've wanted to share this manga with you for a long while. I read it during my rest and fell in love with the characters in no time, so I'm sure you will as well. I'm talking about A Complicated Omega's Second Love, by Kichi Uekawa. Thanks to the publisher for sending me a review copy!

• Print Length: 208 pages.
• Publisher: TokyoPop.
• Publication Date: May 16, 2023 .
• Genres: Drama, Gay, Comedy, Manga, Romance, Omegaverse, Yaoi.
• Rating: 4 / 5 stars.

Sakura, an office worker at the top of his game working for a major company, has a complex over being an Omega. He hates that Alphas are always oppressing Omegas and has resolved to be Mate-free for life. One day, however, he loses his memory in a freak accident, and finds out that somehow he and his colleague — an Alpha named Narushige, whom he's always thought of as a rival — have become mated! At first, Sakura is adamantly against the arrangement, but by and by, Narushige's steadfast compassion, trust, and affection as his partner leave Sakura finding himself attracted to him...

Let me start by saying Thanks heaven! I've seen several mangas and doujinshis that include omegaverse, but it's a genre that lends itself too easily to rape and abuse, especially to romanticize them. However, this is an exception to the rule!

The beginning is kind of shady, serving as a setting for a complicated relationship, and I was afraid it would be forced, but it's only forced proximity with a healthy dose of realism, ¡and some comedy relief! I enjoyed my time with Sakura and Narushige, how natural and cute their relationship developed, and the chemistry they had between them. You don't find that too often!

As an omegaverse, however, there are some typical elements I won't spoil but that didn't surprise me. I would have liked a different take on the genre, something I wouldn't have expected; besides the wholesome romance, that is! I felt there was room for improvement, some innovation since this is the kind of omega I enjoy. That's my only complain.

All in all, A Complicated Omega's Second Love is a great reading to pass your time. While the dubious consent might be tricky and could have been more explored, it's a simple story that makes you happy, makes you smile, and turns the heat on when it has to. Extra points for breaking a nasty trend and offering a good love story instead!

Kinky regards, K!

Connect with me on Instagram and Twitter!

Remember this blog lusts after your comments and shares to grow healthy!

Reclaiming Power with an Amethyst Fire Circle

A few days ago* I was meditating to control my nerves, put some order in my head, and stop whatever was going in my mind. I was under a lot of stress and anxiety, and, I won't lie, also frustrated for not  writing here. When I started meditating, paying attention to my breathing, I pictured myself in a dark place, but something happened: I saw purple fire, Bi Fire, in my heart.

Picturing myself in a circle of fire and with metal music in the background, I realized that it was turning purple, mostly. There was pink to my left, blue to my right, but the fire was mostly purple, and even to my sides the colors changed now and then. I decided to let it be, and paid attention to how I felt and reacted.

I didn't picture myself anywhere, and I hardly do it. At that time, I was just surrounded by darkness. I was in a dark place with nothing around and no shape at all. It was all black, me sitting cross-leged, a ring of fire around me.

Slowly, several tendrils of fire rose up in a counterclockwise motion, creating a dome that covered me, and the fire grew bigger. Although it hasn't happened before, I still let the images take their course, feeling safer and more confident as all this happened.

Then it all came inside of me. The fire didn't form a ball or anything. It just went inside my heart area, I could breath more easily, felt calmer, much better than when I started. I pictured my hearth with bi fire again, only this time I saw the actual organ purple-colored and the purple flames around.

I stayed like that for a while, feeling the fire still inside, yet not as chaotic as before. I felt in more control of myself, my head, my heart, maybe also my life. I've felt more confident about my ideas, more focused on what I need to do and what I enjoy doing.

A few days ago I started working on a new story, creating the concept art for some places, even a draft for a character, and now, working on this post, I can't help but wonder if that bi fire circle had something to do with it. I like to think it did. I feel more confident about my identity, who I am, what I do, what I represent, and the direction I'm going.

I still have several ideas, some that need more work than others, the most important ones to me, those that are Kyler's and those that are not, are taking better shape, I knew how to prioritize, put order in my mental chaos, just like the fire from that meditation. It's not only that I'm in control; I'm on fire.

*I originally wrote this for my Patreon, but since I'm focusing on the blog now, I wanted to share an updated version here.

Connect with me on Instagram and Twitter!

Remember this blog lusts after your comments and shares to grow healthy!

Back to (Bi) Life

Hello hello hello. Me is back!

Truth be told, I didn't know I needed all this rest until a lot happened. Panic attacks, depression, heartbreak, and finally, coming out to my immediate family for the second time left me in a mental state that required me to rest. Rest a lot.

I've tried to heal, to take it easier, two days ago, this Thursday, I was dealing with suicidal thoughts and self-harming. I finally took the decision of starting psychiatric treatment, and today I got the antidepressants I was prescribed when I was referred. I'm scared, I'm nervous, I don't know how my body will react, but I'm committed.

Yesterday when I talked with my therapist, I started feeling better, then better and better, and today I feel so full of energy I can hardly believe my mood days ago. That's how mental health works some times. However, my relatives told me they just want me to be free, and I showed them my profile as Kyler among other things, and I got the support I've been waiting for all these days. For almost 11 years.

I'm healing, and healing is not pretty. Healing is not easy. We're talking about a lot of trauma, a lot of damage, pain, and sadness I can finally let go, but I need to learn how to. And the first step is starting again.

Kyler was born as a persona to explore a part of myself I had to repress: my attraction to men. Attraction to women was fine for the public, for my family, and so it was safe. But now I want to shine the brightest shade of purple I can. What does that mean? You'll still see gay erotica, but I'll start getting into lesbian and bisexual literature.

I don't need to hide anything here at home, and even if I'm not ready to come out 100% and show my face everywhere, I can promise it will be soon. I feel lighter than I've ever been, and finally hopeful that things will improve. I'm still scared, I don't want to medicate myself, but I won't risk falling into that dangerous mindset where I wanted to give up on everything and just exist without feeling and dreaming.

There are a lot of entries already scheduled, many of them from that failed Patron attempt, but I wanted this to be special. I wanted it to be genuine and honest. And here I am, telling you again how much it means to me to have friends like you and feel safe when I talk with many of you, and read you soon!!

Connect with me on Instagram and Twitter!

Remember this blog lusts after your comments and shares to grow healthy!