Last night I attended A Conversation and Book Event with Zachary Zane organized by StillBisexual. As I learned about a promising book, I also learned something: Zack has a defined voice, a defined style, which made me realize that I may not have one. Not one I want for the kind of content I want to write. And so I wondered: What do I want to write about?
The answer came right away: I want to write about bisexuality. However, there might be a lot of bisexual writers out there. What can I do that helps the collective? How can I be helpful? Because it's not a matter of doing something original, is doing what you do the best.
Thinking about it, I connected with something I've wanted to do for a while. I realized on 2022 that I wasn't enjoying any of the queer/gay spiritual books I was reading. I couldn't connect with any of them, find joy ne reading them, and ended up frustrated with them all, no matter the author or the approach. I realized I was becoming a hater.
Why? Because I was looking for my voice in them. I was trying to find something in a way only I could say. Not because I'm better than those authors, but because there's a certain content that I enjoy reading and writing, but haven't found in queer spirituality: a balanced blend between academic research and personal experiences that about about bisexuality.
I was reading books by gay and nonbinary authors, wishing I could find something they couldn't write about because they had a different background, a different style, different identities. As I listened to Zack speak about his book and his experiences, how he made jokes about it and sounded so free, I realized this was the reason why I wasn't enjoying anything: because I didn't have a voice.
So I decided to change that. I've lamented to one of my friends, over and over, that there is no representation, that there's no content, no spirituality that I felt fitted my needs. He told me to just write about it, which is why I started this section in the blog. I struggled with those books because I didn't see myself in them, and so I couldn't appreciate the work of those authors. So I want to make things right.
I've read a few books from this list, tried to read others, some I started, liked, but abandoned for several reasons, and I just forgot about some others because of this initial disillusion. So I want to go back to them, and while I will read them randomly, it will be under this different point of view, not expecting something specific and keeping a more open mind. Here's the list in case you want to read them as well:
- Gay Witchcraft: Empowering the Tribe, by Christopher Penczak
- Sons of the Goddess: A Young Man's Guide to Wicca, by Christopher Penczak
- Wicca Spellcraft for Men: A Spellbook for Male Pagans, by A.J. Drew
- The Satyr's Kiss: Queer Men, Sex Magic & Modern Witchcraft, by Storm Faerywolf
- Garbed In Green: Gay Witchcraft & The Male Mysteries, by Casey Giovinco
- Queering Your Craft: Witchcraft from the Margins, by Cassandra Snow
- Queer Magic: LGBT+ Spirituality and Culture from Around the World, by Tomás Prower
- The Path Of The Green Man: Gay Men, Wicca and Living a Magical Life, by Michael Thomas Ford
Has this happened to you? I've had several conflicting feelings because of this, so I'm looking forward to trying again some of these readings. Also, if there are more books you would recommend, let me know and I'll add them here as well! Extra interested if they're about bisexual spirituality!
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